Will I be judged?
Here the thought of being judged is terrifying but in reality this is just a critical thought that pops up in the head and sits judge on us without factoring in the reality that the counselor may or may not judge us . One would never know unless one interacted with the counselor. Yet often this thought is good enough to destroy our wish to help ourselves ,to collaborate with another person in order to seek a resolution to our emotional difficulty.
This thought does another thing
It puts the counselor on a pedestal. It also generates enough anxiety which does not allow any opening up.So the counselor is a know all and yet knows nothing about us . Where might this therapy go eventually ? Not too hard to guess.
And therefore the first important step in therapy is to ascertain how to deal with this debilitating destructive mechanism of harsh and critical thoughts , which dis balances the relationship with the therapist we want to work with.Only a relationship of equals with an equal stake in the process can work. Any inequality is bound to lead to failure just like in our relationships .Here both are needed to bring something into the therapy. A zero percent from either would lead to zero results.